I’m a medium and psychic. I’ve always been a medium and psychic. As a child my awareness and insights were ignored, chastised or seen with fear, so by the age of 5 I learned not to share the information with anyone. That doesn’t mean that I stopped seeing or believing; it means that I just didn’t talk about it. I chose to live my life in two worlds. The first a life loud and bright with family and friends and the second unspoken, subtly (most of the time), gently and quietly underlying every moment with Spirit. The information that Spirit shared with me was always kind and always accurate and I was confused as to why people didn’t want to hear it. One of my strongest childhood memories was wondering how people could make decisions without having all of the available information.
Living As A Whole Person
People often ask me about my origin story. How did I become a medium and how did it affect my life? Here is part of my backstory.
By the time that this incident happened I had already stopped sharing my insights. But this vision was so strong and emotional that I had to try. My mother had brought me with her to run a few errands and we stopped to visit her friend who owned a small business. The friend introduced us to her new associate and I immediately knew that he was a ‘bad’ man. Without question, I knew that he was a liar a cheat and would cause problems for her. When we left the shop I told my mother what I had seen. She said: Be quiet and don’t say a word to anyone. Don’t make trouble, no one will believe you anyway. I was a child so I listened to my mother and stayed quiet. It took them a while to catch on to his deceit but after decades of dealing with his darkness and a lengthy legal battle, he is finally out of their lives. That was the last time that I was honest about my visions for a very long time.
I learned two important lessons from this experience. First, If I see something that could help someone, I have a responsibility to say something. But I also have to be very conscious of the words that I use and how I use them. If a person doesn’t have experience with me and my abilities, I need to be extremely gentle in my approach. Second, if I do my best to communicate the info and they don’t listen, I have to let it go. I have learned to accept that each person has their own lessons to learn in life and that they are responsible for their choices.
When my future husband and I moved in together, I saw no reason to tell him about my abilities and just went about life in my normal way, until a frenemy started causing problems for him. I told him when they were going to call and what they were going to say. Then we worked out a strategy for the best way to handle it. The phone call came, he handled it as we planned and it calmed the situation for the moment. This wasn’t someone that could be cut out of his life entirely, so dealing with them became good practice for both of us. He learned to trust my insights and I learned what it felt like to be trusted.
Then in 2008 the economy crashed and our income sank with it. I wanted to contribute financially but there wasn’t anything available that made sense for us. My cousin worked for a newspaper where they featured a local businessperson in a small weekly column. She was one of the very few who knew my secret and she suggested that I start offering readings and then they would feature me as a local small business. My brother quickly threw together a basic web site for me and I had a business. The response was better than I could have imagined. Over 350 people requested readings and I started to develop a small following. Even with this positive reinforcement I didn’t feel brave enough to let go of living a divided life. I still didn’t share that side of my life with most family members, friends or on social media.
I vividly remember the morning that changed everything. Following my normal routine I got up with the sun, sat at the table reading the paper and enjoyed a few moments of quiet before anyone else woke up. I put the paper down, looked out the window into the morning light and said to myself: I’m ready to grow my business. I knew that meant opening myself up to all of the ridicule and patronizing condescension that I had received as a child. But I felt an amazing sense of calm. I wasn’t being brave; I just felt no fear. Maybe just a little bit of fear but not enough to stop me. In that day’s mail there was a brochure from the local Community Education program offering hundreds of classes. I put together a proposal for A Conversation on Death & Dying, they accepted and a few months later I started teaching the class. It went over well, some people attending two or three times and often bringing friends. I added two more classes: Developing Intuition and Introduction to Meditation. I felt perfectly comfortable sharing my experiences as a medium with complete strangers and still didn’t tell anyone in my circle about my abilities. Of course by now word started to spread. My name was in the catalogues and on the schools’ web sites so anyone could see it.
Then I decided to stop second-guessing myself and go all in. My website now contains a blog where I share my and my clients’ experiences and insight from my Spirit friends. I’ve started to occasionally post links to my newest post or an upcoming class on Facebook and have been surprised by the lack of trolls. Some people have made positive comments and some have even shared my posts.
I thought that keeping my true self hidden was keeping me safe but instead it meant that I was living half a life. True happiness, the kind that resonates to every cell in your being, can’t happen unless you’re grateful for who you are. That doesn’t mean that you have to share your deepest darkest secrets with the world. It means accepting who you are and integrating all of your parts into one. Doing that has allowed me to feel a new kind of peaceful joy. A type of happiness that I hadn’t experienced before. Bringing all of me to my relationships has made me a better person, wife and friend. My two parts have merged and like me or not, I am whole.