I was told to stop being so picky.
And I said: Why?
You’ll end up alone.
I’m okay with that. I like me.
No one’s going to rescue you.
From what? I like my life.
Everyone wants to be married and have children.
You’re not being honest, of course you want kids.
Not for me.
He’s a really nice guy.
He’s good looking and successful.
He’s a catch.
Not for me.
Then the trick set-ups. Show up for dinner, play, concert and
there’s the extra guy. We just wanted the numbers to be even.
Isn’t he great?
Not for me.
I was whole, I was happy and I was fine with being single. I couldn’t put into words what I wanted, but I knew how my heart would feel when I met the right person. And I waited and it did.
Consistently being pressured to conform from family, friends, co-workers and the media can cause a loneliness that has nothing to do with being alone. When those in your inner circle can’t accept that you know who you are and what you want; it creates an emotional disconnect. You may still carry on the relationship but you’ll begin to prioritize protecting your heart. You’ll start being more careful about what you say so that it won’t lead to another dreaded conversation. You’re keeping the peace but you’re also developing boundaries. That’s a good thing. Developing boundaries gives you the opportunity to learn to appreciate people for who they are instead of expecting them to validate you. When you accept others for who they are, as different as they may be from you, you open the door for being accepted for yourself. Even if you see their way as judgmental, small-minded or intolerant remember, it’s not about you. It’s about how they view the world.
Accepting other people as they are and accepting that they have value, doesn’t guarantee that they will accept you. When you choose your own path and it diverges from your societal norm and you’re happy; you pose a threat. You’re forcing your circle to examine their own lives and that can make people uncomfortable. That’s okay and to be expected. Many people go through life trying to fit in with what they see as acceptable without examining what they want from life. They feel safer following what they see as societies rules and not risking confrontation. By choosing to live an unexamined life a person may feel safe but they will not feel satisfied of fulfilled. That can only come from looking deep within your own heart and being honest with yourself about what you find.
The part that is about you is your emotions; what you’re feeling about your own experience. All emotions are part of your map to soul growth and soul growth is the reason that you’re here.
For me it was about being independent. For you it may be your sexuality, religion, clothes, hair color or job. Whatever the expression of your unique self is, is right for you. It doesn’t have to be right for anyone else.
I honor myself, by respectfully letting go of any emotional attachment to the words of those whom I feel are not being respectful.
I honor myself by appreciating my value.
I honor myself by limiting my contact with those who don’t treat me as valuable.
I honor myself by accepting that I cannot change anyone, except myself.