Dealing with Real Vampires

You are a unique individual. You are the only person on this earth, who has your genetic, experiential and spiritual make-up. There may be thousands of individuals who have the same nationality, religion, job, etc. as you do. But, none of them bring exactly the same gifts to this lifetime as you do. Who you are and what you bring matters. No one can offer the world what you can.
There are people who don’t recognize their own value and seek their power by denigrating you. They may belittle your achievements or aspirations or treat you as though you’re beneath them. These bullies are the true vampires. They don’t feed on blood; they feed on other people’s energy. A vampire can sense a person’s vulnerability and will do their best to exploit it. We’ve all met people like this: the abusive person who shames  their partner into feeling worthless, the frenemy who pretends to be on your side but isn’t, or the boss who never achieved their goals and is going to make sure that you don’t achieve yours either.
It’s not your job to change them. It’s your job to recognize them for what they are and to not let them dissuade you from your path. It can be very difficult to change relationship patterns. But every time that you allow their negativity to become an earworm, is time lost. Every time that you allow anyone to keep you from being your true best self is time lost. Time that you’ll never get back. This is not the moment to focus on getting even or on revenge; then you’d still be playing their game. This is the moment for letting go of your emotional attachment to what they think. Remember that they are not telling the truth. They are trying to make you feel ‘less than’, so that they can feel better about themselves.
Dead people say: No one else is you. No one else is even close to being you. You are needed on this world exactly the way that you are.



  1. The thing is, when it’s someone you live with, and someone you love, it is much harder to ignore that voice. Thank god it is not a partner! I will never have a partner again, so as not to risk such a thing. But having any family member who is passive aggressive, who is constantly negative – it’s very hard to hang on to being me. But I am going for it! Thanks for the encouragement!!

  2. Hey Victoria,

    I remember learning in a psychology class in college about some people’s way of thinking about themselves and others. One construct was, “I’m okay, you’re not okay.” That fits your “real vampire” metaphor. For these people to feel that they’re okay, they have to make the other person appear to not be okay.

    Some time ago, I learned it’s not my job to change people, but it certainly my job to protect my time, because time is what makes up my life. Thanks for this apt reminder.

  3. For sure bullies are vampires! Great advice.

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