Invisible Friends

In the post There is No Death, I talked about  no one ever dying alone. We all have loved ones who have passed and guardian angels and spirits who help us transition to the other side. Being born is no different. We all have a companion who accompanies us as we make the transition to this life. When a child talks about having an invisible friend, most of the time this friend is their guide and companion. Children do have wonderful imaginations and sometimes invisible friends are just that. But, most of the time and with most children, invisible friends are real.

My invisible friend Mary was with me everyday until I was 5. When I was in kindergarten, she came to say that she was leaving and that I wouldn’t see her again. As she walked away she turned to me, waved good-bye and then disappeared. Fast forward to the present day, when I started teaching the class A Conversation on Death & Dying. I was excited to see the new class catalog with my listing and it was perfect until I saw the instructor’s name listed as Mary Juster. I called the coordinator and she said not to worry, she’d take care of it in the next catalog. The next catalog listed me as Mary Juster. I called again and the coordinator was surprised, and she assured me that it wouldn’t happen again. The next season I was still listed as Mary Juster and the next and the next.  It took me all that time to realize that my dear friend Mary was letting me know that she had never left me. The only thing that had changed was that I couldn’t see her. I had forgotten that our invisible friends are guides and are always there for us, whether we can see them or not. As soon as I figured out the reason why my name was listed as Mary, the catalog was corrected and has listed me as Victoria ever since.
We have many things to learn about how to navigate this life. It used to be that we learned by having our guides disappear, forcing us to interact with other physical people. This is still true for most children but not all. Now some children called Rainbow, Indigo or Crystal children truly see the world of Spirit and the earthly plane as one world, and we have much to learn from them.
If you know a child who has an invisible friend, ask them about their friend. Then listen. It may wake up memories of your own invisible friend.


  1. One of my friends wasn’t quite invisible. She lived in one mirror in the house. It was a full-length mirror. She was my exact opposite. When school was hard for me, it was easy for her. When I had a sad day, she had a happy day. I wondered if I could go to the other side of the mirror. Later on, I found out that another Alice did exactly that.

    I also had a bunch of invisible friends. They lived in an elm tree in front of my house. Often, they came to school with me. I didn’t like doing the math worksheets so my invisible friends did them for me. Unfortunately, they weren’t any better at math than I was. That was okay. I still loved them, and I mourned when the tree, along with all of the other elm trees on the street, were cut down. I was eleven years old.

    When we moved away, my mirror friend was lost to me forever. I still miss her.

  2. What a beautiful story and how wonderful that Kathy was with you all along. I never had an invisible friend and neither of my daughters did that I recall.

  3. Wow. This is really sweet. I knew that some children have invisible friends, but I didn’t really understand the friends’ nature or purpose. Now that you’ve reminded me of this soul knowledge, I think “How could it be otherwise? Would we really be sent helpless and alone to this scary, confusing place?” My heart is overflowing with comfort and joy.

  4. I had an invisible friend when I was little. Her name was Kathy and she lived on my shoulder. My mom always said I talked non-stop to the walls, the seats, my toys, etc. I was really talking to Kathy and she was a wonderful friend.

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