Authenticity is an Antidote to Fear

Fear keeps us from living our best life. As children we usually get programmed to see the world a certain way. We’re taught to live within parameters that allow other people to maintain their own comfort level. We subjugate our own thoughts and feelings to sustain the status quo.

Instead of exploring our gifts, we guard our self-expression to weigh people’s responses before opening up. That feeling of repression can be so strong that we don’t even open our inner knowing to ourselves.
Who we truly are may be an artist, an explorer, LBGQT or (like me) a medium. Growing up talking to dead people was considered hearing voices and deemed a form of mental illness. Having strong intuition was considered disrespectful if it countered what an authority figure said. Knowing things that no one else was aware of didn’t prove that I was telling the truth; it meant that I needed to learn my place. So I separated my inner and outer life. It’s exhausting to have to watch every word and facial expression while keeping a secret.
One of the most difficult insights that I had was watching the news on TV and realizing that the man speaking was going to commit suicide. I didn’t know what to do so I tried sharing with a friend. She said I couldn’t possibly know that and then she abruptly changed the subject. Several weeks later he did commit suicide. I know now that there is nothing that I could have done at the time. I didn’t have enough life experience to have the tools to help him.
Decades later with a lot more life experience, I decided to start teaching the class ‘A Conversation on Death & Dying’. The first person I told was my husband. He had seen enough to know that this was right for me and was incredibly encouraging. The second person that I told was a dear friend who said: Aren’t you afraid that you’ll get in trouble? I asked with who, and she responded: I don’t know. If I had allowed her fear to reinforce the fear and repression that I had lived with my entire life, I would have dropped the whole idea. But I didn’t and here’s what I learned.
When we connect with and accept our true self, there is no fear. When we open every cell in our body to our true self, whether we share it with the outside world or not, we are opening ourselves to being part of the natural flow of the universe. The true self is the person that you are beyond the imprints of society. It’s who you are when the energy from your thoughts, words and actions flow directly from your soul into your life. Your true self is the best of you and it is your authentic nature. It’s not just your birthrightit’s also the key to your purpose for being born.
We are each unique individuals with a remarkable beauty that shines brighter the more that we live as our Self. As you deepen and develop your connection to your Self, you will begin to change and you’ll eventually start to shed the people, things and ideas that had kept you confined. For most people change is scary and opening to your deepest core takes courage. But once you do that, once you begin to deepen your connectionsomething inside of you will shift. You’ll find that living authentically is the antidote to fear. You’ll find that when the choices that you make come from your core instead of from fear, your life will flow more easily and obstacles won’t create as much stress. You’ll find new purpose, joy and fulfillment that has been waiting for you your entire life.


  1. Wonderful message! Thanks for sharing this!

  2. This is sooooo important a message / lesson. Thank you for an amazing post. I’d like to talk more about this with you, perhaps for an interview for my website.

    Best regards –


  3. Marilyn Cloutier

    I love this whole post. I was especially struck by “We’re taught to live within parameters that allow other people to maintain their own comfort level.” Wow. How much of my life have I limited or warped to keep other people comfortable in their world?

    I have grown wiser as I’ve grown older. I’ve also learned that often people really don’t care what I do or think. They’re living their own lives – and I’m living mine.

    Thank you, Victoria, for sharing your story and your wisdom.

  4. “living authentically is the antidote to fear” is something that I will definitely remember!

  5. Victoria, I love your soul and I love you. I could make 4 dozen quote posters out of lines from this article of yours! All so true! Great piece.

  6. Love, love, love this! I am so in awe of mediums, what a precious gift you provided. I love your comment about change being scary, getting to our core is essentil so we can shift from an old ending to new beginning. My passion is helping women make that shift and create andexperience the life they desire.

  7. Thanks for sharing, Victoria. I used to see ghosts as a child but I don’t have the ability any more. I am still ‘sensitive’ to many things. It makes life is easier and harder at the same time.

    • My sense of it is that they don’t want to influence your life, so they’re not letting you see them. They’re still there, but as a quiet invisible loving presence.

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