The White Room

I had a dream that I was in a couple’s bright and airy contemporary home. Off-white walls showcased nondescript off-white art in a living room about 30’ long. The kitchen and dining area, also off-white, ran parallel along the living room’s long wall. The only color came from a 10’ long decorative pit that separated the rooms. Looking more closely I realized that the pit was filled with broken cups and glasses of all different shapes and colors. They had kept every broken cup and glass from childhood through the present, tossing them in as if saving them in a vault. The only way to get from one room to another was to detour around the pit, but they walked as if they didn’t even notice it.

The broken cups and glasses are a metaphor for all of the disappointments, slights, and betrayals that they have experienced. All of the lost dreams, broken hearts and unmet expectations collected and stored for safekeeping. Just as the pit stored the couple’s broken shards of glass, our minds store our despondent memories. There are many reasons that we hold our sadness fresh, but there are two that stand out. First, we may feel comfortable, at times even prideful, in seeing ourselves as the victim. It wasn’t MY fault is a common defense. Yes, you’re right, it may not be your fault. But when you allow past experiences to define you, you’re not taking responsibility for the present. Second is that we think that we have no choice. We believe that whatever happened in our past left such an impactful impression that having it as a constant presence in the back of our minds is perfectly natural and unavoidable. It is perfectly natural but it is not unavoidable.